Dear mid-sized, beige Toyota driving on Wildcat Canyon Road tonight,

I’m terribly sorry that my truck full of small children got in your way this evening.  Had I known that going 5mph over the posted speed limit, up a dark and winding mountain road, was not fast enough for you, I could have stayed home and spared you the inconvenience.

I’m also sorry that when you got close enough to smell my kids fart, that I slowed down.  I can see how you may not have known that I was part of that Facebook Group that slows down on tailgaters.  Maybe I should get a bumper sticker?  But I was trying to give you a subtle message that you were making me, and my truck full of small children, uncomfortable.

And when the road briefly straightened out, and you decided that it was a good idea to turn on your bright lights, pass me on the double yellow line and hang your middle finger out your window…I really appreciated that.  I’d been waiting for an appropriate time to discuss the fine art of flipping people off with my 5 and 3 year old’s.

So, thank you mid-sized, beige Toyota.  You made my night that much better by having been almost run off the road by you.

Sincerely,

Full-sized, silver Ford truck full of small children