Yesterday I was bored so I opened up my blog to taking your questions. If you can think of anything at all you want me to talk about or answer, leave me a comment and let me know. It’s kinda fun to see your questions. Anyhow, my friend Stefani from Mommy Enterprises asked the first one:
Okay, I have a good one!
Since you have been a surrogate mother, do you feel a bond still between the surrogate babies. I think it is so awesome that you have done this for others. It is definitely not something that I could ever do as I don’t really like being pregnant. I have been curious if there is still any attachment still there?
Short answer: No, I have no attachment to the babies, I never have.
I am so very lucky because I get regular updates on the children from their families. My picture for this post is new Christmas pictures of the triplets I delivered in 2007 and Baby J who was born this past May. I receive the pictures, either text or email, and I think, “Oh my gosh! What a CUTE kid! I can’t believe how big they’ve gotten!” But that’s really about it. I love the pictures, I’m happy to see them. But I don’t feel “love” or “attachment” to the children. My heart doesn’t ache to hold them or anything like that. Not at all.
I suppose it is a little like being an aunt. I see my nieces and nephews, I love them, I care about them, but I certainly don’t want them or feel like they belong to me.
When you are pregnant with a surrogate baby, you feel protective. I think anyone would feel protective of a baby that they were in charge of caring for, right? Whether that be for a few hours or like a surrogate, for a few months. But then you are happy to hand them over to their parents!
I feel the most happiness for the parents and the families that I helped create. I care for my former “intended parents” a lot and I get joy from seeing their happiness. That’s enough attachment for me.