The transition from being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) into a working mom is proving to be a lot more difficult for me than I had imagined.  Reality is setting in and I’m realizing all that I’m going to be missing.

I’m sad.

I thought it would be a good idea to wake up Bob this morning so I could “train” him on our morning routine.  He will be in charge of getting the kids to school when I start my job on Monday.  I was getting Anthony in the bath the first time I burst into tears.  Anthony and I were chit-chatting about nothing and I realized that there would be no more idle bathtime conversations with my oldest child.

Making the boys’ snacks, putting on their jackets, loading them into the car.  Today was the last time for me.

I was walking through the school campus and see all the moms (and dads, too I guess) standing with their kids, seeing them off for their day.  Being the one that gets that last good-bye kiss.  All over for me.

My morning will start at 6am now, not really much earlier than normal, but now I will be leaving the house at 6:30 instead of waking my sleepy children for school.  I’ll be gone before they even wake up.

For the first week of my new job, I have training and so the schedule is a bit longer than what my regular schedule will be.  I’ll be getting home about 6:30pm.  That’s only 1.5 hours with my kids a day!  After I start my regular shift?  I’ll have 3.5 hours a day with my beautiful boys.

How am I suppose to forge memories and teach them what they need to know in 3.5 hours a day?!  Three and a half hours is NOTHING.

This sucks.

If you work outside of the home, how do you do it?  How do you get that time with your kids?  I’m so sad today.