My oldest son has been battling the MRSA infection for about two months now. It has been quite the ordeal and deserves its own blog post because this isn’t about what a pain in the ass MRSA is but how mom’s have to have tampon talks even with boys. How does MRSA turn into a tampon talk, you ask? Well, let me tell you!
Any grown woman can probably tell you that taking antibiotics for any length of time will likely give you a yeast infection. Well if you give an eight year old heavy-duty-rot-your-teeth-out antibiotics for 40 some-odd days, he’ll also get a yeast infection. And that’s exactly what my poor eight year old boy has.
Wake up this morning, “mom it hurts really bad when I pee.”
Take a shower this evening, “mom I know why it hurts, it’s really gross on the inside.”
Off to the drug store I go because from experience I know that this won’t be clearing up on its own. I am in search of yeast infection cream of some sort. I get to the drug store and all they have are boxes of product with suppositories and cream, nothing with just cream. I don’t know a lot of things in this world but I do know that my eight year old boy has no place for a suppository! I ultimately buy a three day yeast treatment, suppositories and cream. Did I mention I just wanted the damn cream?
(Anyone want me to mail them three suppositories?)
I get back home and open the box and Anthony is inspecting it. There were three separate packages for the suppositories and I tell him he doesn’t need those because those are for women.
“Well why do girls get this but not me?”
“Because if a girl gets a yeast infection it’s usually up inside her…..
“Well, honey, up in a girls vagina part. Where the babies are born from so they need that part in order to get the medicine up inside.”
“Oh! But you already have lots of these in your bathroom!”
“What do you mean? Mommy doesn’t have any of this stuff”
“Yes I’ll show you!”
*off to the bathroom we go*
He reaches down and picks up my box of tampons!
And thus was the beginning of what a tampon was for.
“Oh! No, those aren’t medicine for a yeast infection. Those are for mommy when she has her…um…er….*shit, we’ve never had this conversation before*….
I’ve never been the type to sugar coat things or make up silly stories to explain, I try to give them the facts when asked without divulging too much stuff that they aren’t ready for. So I just went ahead and told him…
“those are tampons for mommy’s to use one time a month when they have blood that comes out from there.”
“Mommy’s have blood? Do you have blood? Did you already do that this month?”
OH NO WHAT HAVE I STARTED??!!!
“um, yep. Once a month but you are lucky because you are a boy and won’t ever have to have it so let’s go to bed now!”
*oh god please lets go to bed and not ask me any more questions*
“Ok mommy. Good night. I love you.”
And all was well with the world….
….until he asked me about babies and bones being inside a mommy and how “oh yeah, I remember that babies start out as tiny cells!”